Friday, 27 June 2014
Thursday, 26 June 2014
Wednesday, 25 June 2014
Expected Friends
I had a friend, a mother like a
friend whom I used to admire with her ability to care. With time my passion for
her grew up, I saw her as a mother figure in the hostelry where I dwelled
together with her in a common room. Only after our friendship picked up its top
it started coming down; her work, her problems more precisely her own life took
over. It's no harm though. But lamentably, I became a "time-thing"
for her.
Now, what's this
"time-thing"? To be fair, you may not encounter this word in the
dictionary. I have simply invented it while resting on my bed thinking over the
ceiling of our friendship.
It simply means that she was
with me whenever she was free of everything and everyone. Yea! There's nothing
wrong with it. But, I was nowhere when my lil heart encountered a lil break.
She was nowhere when I was gone away in solitude to dissolve as much as I can.
She was nowhere when I needed her for some words of advice. She was
nowhere.......... I tried calling her. But her life's battle overshadowed me
and I kept as a silent bird as I appreciated her courageous path of sharing her
battle. Then came the spring of her life, I quietly waited for her to listen to
me now. But this time her joy overshadowed me. I was again pulled up stakes
with my words inside.
There's nothing like I didn't
have any other ally; she really means a lot to me. In fact, I have every
relation with me which a gal of my age has. I lived a contented life with
lovely bonds around me. I have many ears to listen to me, my new roommate whom
I conceive my daughter now, my family and my rolling diary. Beside ears, they
offer a simple level of understanding too. I admire their way of knowing me so
well. But the problem with me or any other human is that we
"expect". Yes, it's where I failed. I expected a lot. She's someone
who doesn't tell her worries easily and I respected her privacy. But I suppose,
she forgot that I loved to share mine with whom I love. She blanked out to take
me. She blanked out to read my eyes.
I recollect an incident of this
New Year where I was excited to celebrate it with my acquaintances. They
readily agreed. But slowly, as the day came, the day on which we had decided to
celebrate, there was a minor reluctance in their eyes. I felt so bad. I, so
badly, wanted a change. While we're leaving I had a heated argument with my
other friend. I expected her to say something, but she moved forward, leaving
us two arguing. I felt so alone. She had no more belonged to me. I was so silly
to realize it. I compelled her staying with me, but she could never do. I was
so stupid to realize it then also. She was getting disappear from our casual
CCD outing, our crazy shopping, our nagging naps...... She vanished and
appeared when she had no one other than me. I have moved around to be her
"time-thing".
On a very fine day, not very
old, I finally realized it; I have abandoned our friendship. I vanished as
well. I don’t want to burden her bonds. It’s not like she’s wrong. But I
thought, I have been so unsuccessful to understand her behavior. The reason, I suppose,
is that we have outgrown each other. Maybe my thinking and my decision is wrong
but for now, it’s making me feel a little strange as well. I felt happiness in
biding her "Goodbye" though I still consider her as my friend, but
the difference is I expect "nothing" from her as a friend of mine;
I'm not estimating her a friend of mine from what she was to what she is
either. It would be so strange that I will never listen to her, in that way,
anymore; I will never turn childish to her now; I will never force her to stay
with me; I will never ask her to go out with me, we're expected to be friends.
If she is happy being without me, then why should I follow her through my
silliness? If she couldn't understand me, then how can we talk or at least give
a worth smile at each other whenever we see? Nevertheless, we're still friends.
Maybe, we've certain barriers to be rooted for our friendship. Nowadays, we're
just "Expected friends" for ourselves, aren't we?
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
Monday, 23 June 2014
Sunday, 15 June 2014
#11 Quote
Journey
If you want to know,
what's your heart searching for,
start the journey today.
start the journey today.
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Thursday, 12 June 2014
That Stranger
It was a stormy day, When I first met him
I was struggling with my hair when saw his watch's sheen
Forgetting the rhyming hair, I looked for his face
Alas! He turned away, beckoning he didn't care
Slyly I moved and stood right to his side
But this heaven's heart raced and took a Skippy ride
I noticed our sneakers, how small I was
Then his lace nudged mine to follow his path
That is, to his sufferings to his past
Merrily, I lifted my gaze for him
But stopped at something deep hidden in him
His eyes were wild but not so happy as I stared
They pushed me back and glared
For seconds I struggled under the stars
Then, I ran far far and far, too fast
From his mystery enticing his eyes
But little did I know they will haunt me till the end of above sky.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)