Pest Of Doubts

What I am sharing today is a picture taken from my life's reel. I wrote it some seven months ago and buried it somewhere in my "cellphone's memory". But today, life showed me the same image again thus reminding me of my this work. It's neither a masterpiece nor an outstanding piece but yes it has a "life" in a  single memory.
Now, lets end this emotions' rain to start another with rhyme,

Everything is happening strange as if unusually written
With Earnest smiles healing pain and saddening happiness hidden

When I see it, it resembles nightmare
In which I am caught alone to be hurt and escape so rare

As if my conscience is stabbed by an od to rest
And a soul too hindered like death has set

Where mesmerizing touches: hope and faith get failed
I feel I am here, at its pole beside a long way waiting to be sailed

With my first encounter to this stage
I performed believing I know my heart's Fair and rage
but now time has grown uncertain dissolving my pellucidity forging my voice in a golden cage

Does this is actuality and the past was dream
Or it will end like a pulsed flash with a scream

Neither do I faced such restlessness to know future
Nor do I refused present's present to nurture

So now Am I changing my nature my sun and my sign
Or I was to be moulded such and rest was a design

As I cry out these questions a sudden darkness wearing silence prevails
The fear left untouched so far instantly came to hail

It's all black no way to escape
But to stand in it with a strong heart to face

May this battle lost brings the sun as a gain
So that I can feel, touch and see again

So that the clouds of doubts find their way home
In place of my heart and soul to roam

So that I may look above and instead of black I will see sky
So that my heart will sing " l know l".